April 2013
5 posts
“Can I have one?”
– on my birth control pills
“He looks like a Hitler experiment.”
– on a bad haircut
“We’re in a fucking animal zone. We’re in a zoo!”
– on FroSoCo
“Can vodka be a spirit animal?”
– no
“Colonize me once, shame on you. Colonize me twice, shame on me.”
– on cultural reappropriation
March 2013
8 posts
“What are gay jokes? I just say everyone’s a whore, but that’s a...”
– I see
“I feel like by the time I graduate I’ll have a minor in alcohol(ism).”
– on wine/beer tasting in class
“I’m congested. I really need to sneeze right now. I’m probably...”
– on allergies? chubsters?
“I am proudly pro-death.”
– oh really?
“Are you numb now? It’s a way to live.”
– on eating frozen strawberries
“Let’s penetrate the forest!”
– on short cuts to class
“I’m already disadvantaged as a queer person of marginal color.”
– on getting stung by a bee
“You should probably just steal something and go to prison where the amenities...”
– on 25-bed hostel rooms
February 2013
1 post
“I’m grabbing the absence of my breasts.”
– on gesticulation
January 2013
5 posts
“Siri’s such a cunt.”
– on technology
“You see a big sign that says “God is watching you” and I’m...”
– on Missouri
“If I took a drink every time you have unnecessary feelings I’d be so dead!”
– on a close friend
“That’s a little awk BUT rub it if it feels good.”
– on friends of friends
“I’ve definitely gotten tipsy in a library before.”
– naturally
December 2012
2 posts
“No one’s gonna sperm your face.”
– reassuring a lesbian
“Your sperm ain’t working like it should.”
– on French men’s fertility
November 2012
7 posts
“I’m under a lot of things.”
– word length? men? the influence?
“Rock-paper-scissors-cum!”
– on choosing whose sperm to use in a same-sex marriage
“I’m all about the DINK lifestyle”
– on family
“You’re a prolific oven.”
– on my ability to hold babies
“I think God’s gonna take me soon.”
– on overeating
“I had 2 victory beers for waking up at 6:30 and finishing studying.”
– 30 minutes before his midterm
“We ate kitty.”
– on brunch
June 2012
1 post
“So I’m really concerned about who I partner up with. Either they get haircuts...”
– on grooming
May 2012
1 post
“Hunger.”
– “What is the most passionate human emotion?”
April 2012
4 posts
“Like if you’re performing oral — would you rather dive into the jungle or...”
– on manscaping
“I meant to open Urbanspoon but instead I opened Grindr.”
– on finding something to eat / on getting hungry
“My GPA is a hate crime.”
– on grading
“I’m gonna be the next fuckin Miley Cyrus.”
– on role models
March 2012
3 posts
“I look at life on a pass-fail basis.”
– on judging people
“Patxi’s? Do they offer internships?”
– on Chicago-style pizza
“I don’t get what a rickshaw is. Is that like an escalade?”
– on cross-cultural understanding
February 2012
4 posts
“Nibble yo clit, nibble yo clit, nibble yo clit! Hide yo wife, hide yo kids,...”
– on cunnilingus
“We have so many problems with Asians.”
– on academic competition
“In Kansas they don’t teach us how to say words.”
– on articulateness (wait, is that a word?)
“Some girl hit our principal in the face when she found out she got suspended....”
– on pregnancy
January 2012
11 posts
“I’m glad Disney made all its antagonists dark-skinned. I can now recognize...”
– on racial profiling
“I like this…it screams ‘daycare instructor.’”
– on my outfit
“I hope people think I’m a Republican. Then they won’t fuck with me...”
– on his campus persona
“Whenever I go to a new city, I know I never have to pay for a hotel cuz I can...”
– on travel preparations
“Success comes in many forms. Sometimes the form of an infant.”
– on baby mamas
“I just wish I could blow cops.”
– on avoiding arrest
“My doctor was like, how active are you on a weekly basis? Well, I’m really...”
– #skitrip
“Can you be reincarnated as pizza?”
– #skitrip
“I think at some point in my life I want to be a Powerpuff girl.”
– #skitrip 